


Self Control

by ohshitsolo



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Attempt at Humor, Best Friends, Devoted Reylo, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Humor, Friends to Lovers, Light Angst, Movie References, My First Fanfic, Soft Ben Solo, a little ooc, time jumps
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-25
Updated: 2019-06-25
Packaged: 2020-05-19 10:15:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,474
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19354951
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ohshitsolo/pseuds/ohshitsolo
Summary: The first time Ben cooks Rey dinner it’s their third official date. He cooks her stir fry and she brings the beer. The IPAs that Ben raves about and Rey thinks the beer is too expensive and just okay, but she buys it for Ben.  He’s plating the food and gave her extra white rice, she notices, just like the last couple years she has noticed all the things he does for her. Her eyebrows shoot up, who knew Ben was a good cook? So good, in fact that it tastes exactly like the Chinese place across the street from Ben's apartment complex.  Rey scans the apartment for the takeout bags or containers, and sure enough she sees the very familiar “Thank You” plastic bag stuffed in his trash can. Ben follows her eyes and instantly turns beet red from the tips of his ears to the collar of his shirt and it takes all of Reys self control to not tell him she loves him right then and there.





	Self Control

The first time Ben cooks Rey dinner it’s their third official (they’ve been best friends for four years it’s kind of ridiculous how many totally “platonic” outings they have done together) date. He cooks her stir fry and she brings the beer. The IPAs that Ben raves about and Rey thinks the beer is too expensive and just okay, but she buys it for Ben. She lets herself into his apartment and he is stirring something on the stove, he tells her food is done, she puts the six pack in the fridge and grabs one for herself and one for Ben. He’s plating the food and gave her extra white rice, she notices, just like the last couple years she has noticed all the things he does for her.

“Why didn’t you tell me you can cook? We’ve been making Hot Pockets all this time when you could’ve been making me calzones? The Ben Wyatt jokes would’ve been legendary!” Ben snorts at her as she takes her first bite. 

Her eyebrows shoot up, who knew Ben was a good cook? So good, in fact that it tastes exactly like the Chinese place across the street from Ben's apartment complex. The place they get together every week, hell they had it on their first -official- date. Rey scans the apartment for the takeout bags or containers, and sure enough she sees the very familiar “Thank You” plastic bag stuffed in his trash can. Ben follows her eyes and instantly turns beet red from the tips of his ears to the collar of his shirt and it takes all of Reys self control to not tell him she loves him right then and there.

-

Their first official date Ben plans and accounts for everything. They’re going to a fair near campus, Rey has never been even though they are both graduating in the spring. Ben plans for everything except the weather. As soon as they are next in line to buy tickets it starts pouring. Rey, the angel that she is, starts laughing, grabs Ben's hand and starts sprinting the couple blocks to Ben's place. Ben gets towels once they’re inside and they settle on the couch and watch The Room for maybe the fiftieth time, they watched it the first time they hung out. Whoever does the best impression of Tommy Wiseau gets to pick the next movie and dinner. Bens “Youre tearing me apart, Lisa!” is scary good but Rey's “Oh hai doggy!” makes Ben giggle like a little kid, so naturally Rey wins. 

Rey orders dinner from the Chinese place across the street, Ben knows it’s her favorite, and she gets him extra brown rice. She picks The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring and Ben swears Rey is the most perfect person he has ever met. She insists if he was a character he would be Gimli (“Gimli? Gimli, son of Gloin? I'm over six feet tall, Rey. I am not a dwarf -stop laughing!"). When the food arrives she concedes that he's Aragorn, you know because he's so ruggedly handsome. He thinks she’s Samwise, thoroughly pleased with that answer she gives him her crab rangoon. When the fellowship gets to the Mines of Moria she doesn't allow him to make commentary, insisting that this is her favorite part. They both snort at Boromir saying they have a cave troll and yell out “You shall not pass!”. 

When the movies over Ben offers to drive her home, she smiles and steals his leftovers. In the car classic rock plays that Ben has listened to since he was a kid (“This is real music, kid. Not that Swedish pop shit your mother listens to.”) and because Ben loves it Rey has come to love it too. When he pulls up outside her complex, the place she shares with Finn, he apologizes to her.

“I know this wasn't a great first date, it's not very different from what we usually do, I can't control the weather, but I had a lot of fun and I hope you did too but it's oka-” He gets cut off by her leaning over and kissing him. It's over too soon but it wasn't their first kiss and won't be their last. 

“This was wonderful, Ben. I would still love to go to the fair though. I've never had funnel cake and nothing will stop me now.”

“Tomorrow?”

“Tomorrow.”

And then she's kissing him again and his hands are cradling her face and her hands are in his hair and then- a meter maid knocks on Ben's window and tells him he can't park there. The way Rey bursts out laughing it takes all of Ben's self control to not tell her he loves her right then and there.

-

The first time they hangout they're both freshman living in the dorms on the same floor. Hangout isn't really the right word as much as Rey breaks into Finns dorm and doesn't notice its not empty when she flops face first on Finn's bed. She's exhausted from an exam that had no business being that long and Finn’s not here to rant to. She doesn't even notice the very tall, very broad roommate of Finn until he clears his throat and she screams, sitting up. He's got shiny black hair to his shoulders and he has a face that's pale and the equivalent to a greek marble bust with moles and the most intriguing brown eyes. He's sitting cross legged on his bed with headphones and a laptop on his legs, arching an eyebrow at her.

“I'm friends with Finn! I swear it's not a hobby of mine to jump face first onto strangers beds!” She explains before he can call campus police.

“Well that's reassuring.” He moves the laptop so the screens facing her and swings his long legs over the side of his bed.

“Im Rey? Maybe he's said something about me, I actually only live a couple doors down. My roommates Kayde-” Catching sight of his screen she asks “Are you watching The Room?”

“Uh, yeah I am. I’m Ben. Do you, do you wanna watch it?” 

She nods and he schooches over on his bed and pulls out the headphones. Hes basically just started the movie and they continue from where he stopped. They laugh at the Denny scenes the most (“You're not my fucking mother!” has them laughing so hard theyre leaning up against each other) and get extremely uncomfortable and sit very far away during the way too long sex scene. When Finn walks into his dorm carrying a plethora of fried food a few hours after the movie ended to find Rey and Ben sitting on Ben's bed talking about The Goonies he decides that someday this is going to be ‘A Thing’. 

-

Their second official date at the fair goes about as well as you expect from a place with lots of screaming kids and rides and food, Rey loves it and Ben? Ben tolerates it because Reys happy and when she’s happy, he’s happy. She gets a corn dog with extra mustard and goes on rides. Ben buys her a funnel cake that disgustingly has fried Oreos on it (Ben bitterly admits that fried Oreos are really fucking good) and they share a lemonade. They go on the ferris wheel and Ben puts his arm around her when they get to the top. He kisses her, it’s slow and sweet and so is Rey because she's had so much sugar today. When the gondola swings and Rey breaks the kiss with a yelp, Ben holds her close.

Rey looks up at him “Ferris Bueller, you're my hero.”

Ben breaks out laughing shaking the gondola more. “You nerd! Are you just saying that ‘cause we’re on a ferris wheel?”

“Why else would I say that?” Rey says laughing along.

“Breaking my heart here, kid. Here I was thinking I was your hero.”

“Nah, you don't wear nearly enough capes.”

“Not all heroes wear capes.”

“Oh my god, Ben!” Rey groans.

He kisses her again when theyre safe on the ground and Bens thanking the universe for Rey not wanting him to play one of those fixed circus ball games, because he’d rather not get very angry at something very stupid. But then they walk by one of the stands and there is a porg plushie and Rey loves porgs. It doesn't surprise Ben though that Rey is very good at knocking down cans with a ball and she wins him the plushie. It takes every single ounce of Ben’s self control to not tell Rey that shes it for him, that he wants to marry her someday. The second date went very well.

-

When they’ve been dating for a couple months they decide it’s time to tell Finn and Poe they’re dating (they've been very low-key). Rey’s not nervous to tell them but Ben is. 

“I’ve known Poe my whole life, he’s basically my brother. I’m not ecstatic for him to start telling you about my many embarrassing phases. I don’t want you to run away in horror. You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me.”

“I could never! Besides I’m very well aware of the emo phase in middle school, Leia showed me pictures the first time I met her, and Han showed me the Eminem phase, and Luke showed me the punk phase- did you actually shave your head? Chewie showed me lots of baby pictures- I don't even know how many pictures Lando had of you in capes and-”

“What? That's it, never talking to any of them again. And yes I did shave my head. With these ears? Not a great idea.”

“Shut up your ears are so cute, but please never shave your head again. I'm pretty sure that's a federal offense. Your hair is a national treasure. Nicholas Cage is gonna try and steal it.”

When they're almost to Maz’s for beer, food, the “big announcement”, and to meet Rose, Finn’s new girlfriend, Rey turns and looks at him.

“You know you're also the best thing that's ever happened to me.”

Ben pulling up to a red light looks to her and the smile on his face is absolutely breathtaking. He’s been doing that more. Smiling. When they first started being friends he pretty much only smiled around Poe, Finn and her. It's the kind of smile that Rey thinks she wants her kids to have, and it takes a lot of self control to not tell him she wants a family with him someday.

They walk into Maz’s holding hands and Rey hears a “Finally!” coming from her boss behind the counter. Rey waves and her and Ben walk to a booth that Finn, Poe and Rose are all sitting in staring at their hands.

Ben breaks the silence with a “Surprise?”

Poe starts cackling like the hyenas from The Lion King and Finn’s giggling like a schoolgirl with a lot of “I called it!” thrown in between giggles. Rose just looks confused looking between the laughing dweebs and Rey and Ben.

“I-I thought you guys were already dating? Finn made it seem like guys have been dating for years?” Rose is still very confused as Poe and Finn just start laughing harder.

Both Rey and Ben are a very deep shade of red.

Turns out Rose is great and Ben and Rey really like her. She’s great for Finn. While Ben’s talking to Rose about their mutual love for It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia, Finn and Poe turn to Rey.

“So who asked who out and were there any very romantic declarations of love?” Poe whispers.

Finn leans across the table “We have twenty bucks riding on this.”

“ Wow, my best friends, ladies and gentlemen, betting on my love life! Classy.” Poe winks at her. “ Ben asked me. No there were no dramatic declarations of love. It was very sweet.” Rey says making eye contact with Ben.

Poe shoves Finn “You owe me ten dollars.”

Finn looks at Rey like she's committed a serious felony “You’ve let me down, Peanut.”

“Ten, what happened to twenty?” Ben interjects.

“Ben, there were no declarations! You've let me down. Now, Rey, has Luke showed you Ben's braided rat tail or do I have to be the one to show you?” Poe says.

Ben groans and slams his head on the table. Rose and Finn laugh and Rey looks like someone offered her a million dollars.

“Was this before or after his mullet?” Rey asks.

“It was after the mullet, before the Dungeons and Dragons phase.” Ben grumbles against the table.

-

The first time Rey meets Ben's family, they’re fighting. Their first fight that wasn't over what movie to watch or where to get dinner or who would drive to Poes. No, they shouted at each other, ironically about his family and why he shouldn't work for Mr. Snoke. He sees potential in Ben and isn't that a good thing? Sure he'd have to move and drop out, but a guaranteed well paying job? Sounds like every college student dream.

“Hes manipulating you, you numbskull! Ben you’re the smartest person i know but right now? You are being very, very stupid!”

“Why is him giving me a future a bad thing?”

“A future on the other side of the country, a future without your parents or Poe or Finn! A future with no me!

“So you'd just abandon me?”

 

“I would never abandon you, I know what that's like, Ben and I would never do that to you.”

Ben instantly blanches realizing what he said “Rey I-”

Ben’s interrupted by a knocking at his door. Rey paces his apartment to tell whoever it is to go away but when she opens the door there's an older woman holding a cake and four men behind her. If it's possible for Ben to go paler he definitely does.

“Happy birthday Ben, were’s your fucking bathroom? I’ve been holding it for an hour.” 

“Uhhhh down the hall Uncle Luke.”

For a man in his sixties he runs faster down Bens hall than Bens ever seen a man run. This all seems to deflate Rey's anger because Rey is introducing herself to his parents and his uncles. They seem to become fast friends. His mother hugs him and wishes him a happy birthday. Uncle Lando wiggles his eyebrows and makes head jerks at Rey. Chewie picks Ben up and shakes him, how he still does that Ben doesn't know. And his dad does something very similar to Lando with an included “proud of you, kid”. When Luke comes back and meets Rey he has to embarrass Ben with a “she's a keeper”. Rey blushes very prettily but he's too mad and stunned by the sudden increase of his family members to tease her about it (or memorize every detail of her face from the freckles to the little smile she's wearing).

They spend the next hour talking to Rey, ribbing on Ben, embarrassing him and eating Leia’s cake. Sometimes he forgets how much he misses his family. Maybe not Luke. Luke’s a pain in his ass. 

“So how long have you been friends with my naughty nephew?”

“Four years. We met a little bit after freshman year started.”

Ben’s more than willing to hear Rey keep talking about them but he gets a phone call he can't miss.

“I gotta take this. I'll be back.” Getting up quickly, not looking at Rey, Ben runs to his room.

He spends the next two hours being ordered around by Snoke and grimly realizing that Rey is always right. When the call finally ends Ben is drained. He just wants to go to bed but his family is here and they drove an hour to be here and- he opens his door and they're leaving. Shit it’s late. They probably need to get home to feed Artoo and Threepio. 

Ben apologizes to his mom and she just hugs him tight and tells him she loves him. She also whispers in his ear ”Rey is a very sweet girl. I want grandkids.” and gives him a wink when she pulls back. Han shakes his hand and does his signature smirk and Ben will bet a hundred dollars that his dad knows how he feels about Rey. Lando and Chewie give him hugs and the feeling is that everyone in this room besides Rey knows how he feels about her. To top it off Luke slaps him on the back and pulls a “See you two kids around” and then they all leave. And then it's just him and Rey. And then they're just staring at each other.

Rey speaks first “I didn't even remember it was your birthday. I didn't get you anything.”

“Forgive me and I'll call it even.”

Rey hugs him tightly and pushes her face into his chest. Ben lays his chin on the top of her head. 

“We aren't done with the conversation we were having though.”

“I know.”

“Luke calls you his naughty nephew?”

“I hate him.”

“I kind of love your family, I now know you used to have a mullet.”

“What can I say, I wanted to pull off the Patrick Swayze look.”

“Very cute if I do say so.”

He presses a kiss to the top of her head and does a deep inhale (he's not smelling her hair, that’s not it at all, he's just preparing for what he's about to say).

“I'm not gonna take the job with Snoke.”

“I knew you wouldn't. You love me too much” And Ben freezes. ”Also who's going to bring you caramel macchiatos when you’re done with work? Hmm? Dameron? Didn't think so. You're stuck with me because I’m the only one who knows your dirty coffee secret.” She pokes him in the side and then pulls away.

“Is there any cake left?”

“Maybe I’ll share it if you let me stay the night, it's too late for me to walk home and you look exhausted.”

He could kiss her, he could. It takes a lot of self control, but he's tired and if he messes things up with Rey who will bring him his coffee (also he'd be losing the most important person in his life)? So they share his bed for the first time but not for the last.

-

It had been a week since Ben's birthday and out of the past seven nights Rey had stayed over five times. They never did anything, yanno, inappropriate, just so much aggressive cuddling that Rey felt like she had to go to confession. Rey felt like if she didn't tell Ben how she felt soon she might actually die. They would bicker over TV to watch before bed always agreeing on Bob's Burgers and then they'd watch a few episodes just together in Ben's bed. Rey's favorite part is when Ben puts his head in her lap and she pets or plays with his hair. She was so close to convincing him to let her braid his hair (“My mother did more than enough of that as a child Rey, I felt like a horse’s ass.” “But it'd be so pretty Ben!”) When they get tired Ben turns the TV off and snuggles in behind Rey. Rey insists she's never slept better in her life than when Ben Solo is spooning her. 

When they wake up in the morning, Ben will make her breakfast (too bad he's a liar and can't actually cook so they eat cereal together before class or work. Rey still very much enjoys the sentiment, it's very sweet). Ben has been waking up earlier every morning for phone calls, and she's really hoping its not Snoke he's talking to, so she asks.

“It’s my dad hes giving me advice on some… stuff.”

“Stuff? Snoke?”

“Yeah, ...Snoke.”

Rey lets it go because she can sense he's a little uncomfortable and the last thing she'd want to do is make Ben uncomfortable (like tell him how she feels if he doesn't feel the same way and lose the most important person in her life). Then they eat their Cheerios and Lucky Charms in silence (it's not awkward, its not).

She can't really talk to anyone about how she feels, so it's just stewing and waiting for signs from Ben. Finn would be great with advice but would undoubtedly tell Poe and Poe is a snitch and would immediately tell Ben. That is not how she wants Ben finding out she's been in love with him for… years? The whole time she's known him? The second she saw him? Probably. All she knows is that she loves him. 

She deflects Finns questions on her love life whenever she is over at her apartment, instead asking about the girl in one of his classes who works in a restaurant near his job. And then she hears all about Rose before she has to go to Maz’s. Rey can't confide in Maz either because it came out at Ben's birthday that Maz knows Ben's whole family, especially his father and Uncle Chewie. So after her shift she checks with Ben that it's still okay she comes over, they eat dinner together and then go to bed. And it stays like that and Rey is… okay. Except she's really not.

On the eighth continuous morning of Rey staying over and nothing happening Ben pours her a big bowl of Lucky Charms and makes the coffee exactly how she likes it (dark and bitter even though Ben hates it, because he sacrifices things for her and oh shit, why is she about to cry?). He sits her down next to him on the sofa, the morning news isn't on which is strange, but Ben’s just staring at her.

“Rey, I-, you're my best friend and more important to me than like, anything. I've been talking to my dad a lot since my birthday, he always says ‘Never tell me the odds’. I used to think that was really annoying as a kid because math made a lot of sense to me and I didn’t understand why he wouldn’t want to know the probability of something going wrong. Then growing up I figured out that he's trying to focus on the positive or the hope that something is just gonna turn out right and that I shouldn't let a bad outcome dictate my life. Now as a semi functioning adult that makes a lot of sense to me.”

Rey is just staring at his exaggerated hand movements because she has no idea where this is going and if he’s friend breaking up with her she’s going to shave his head while he sleeps.

“My dad always said Solo’s have a thing for brunettes that hand our asses over to us and well Rey I have a thing for you and I really hope I'm not ruining everything we are by telling you I want to take you out, not like in a sniper way, like in a date way. Like it doesn't have to be fancy because even if you wore a bed sheet you'd be the single most gorgeous woman I've ever seen, shit, everything about you is intoxicating. I shouldn't be allowed to drive when you're in the car with me because how is it possible I keep my eyes on the road for as long as I do when you're next to me? Driving under the influence of Rey. Serious jail time, life. Also you are the most compassionate and hardworking person I kno-”

Rey who is more than content to let Ben keep complimenting her finally takes mercy on him. Pushing the hair out of his face, which fell in the way during his very animated and jittery speech, she kisses him. Bens giant fucking hands cradle her nape and pull her even closer. Who gives a shit about morning breath? Not Rey and Ben. Rey decides she can’t tell him she loves him just yet because he just admitted to liking her. Rey doesn't want to move too fast. But Rey also says fuck it about moving fast because shes taking off her sleep shirt (Bens t shirt) and they’re moving back to Ben’s room. Sure the cereal gets super soggy and the coffee gets really cold but they're no sticklers so they'll reheat the coffee and eat the sugary mush one handed because Rey is never letting him go now.

-

It’s their fourth official date and Ben is taking Rey to dinner. Ben’s planned this date out even more than the first because Ben is going to say fuck it to self control. He’s going to declare his love for Rey (he will shout it from the rooftops if he damn so chooses, and it's a tempting idea) even though they've been official for a solid six whole days, and he’d propose right now if he felt like his mom wouldn't smack him upside the head and say he should have asked for Grandma Padme's ring (also the whole graduating college and not having any money for a wedding thing). So he parks outside her building where a meter maid won’t ticket him (or ruin a makeout session if they so choose to partake) and climbs the stairs to her floor. Maybe taking the stairs and wearing a suit wasn't a great idea but he's so nervous he needs to move otherwise he’ll combust.

He gets to Rey’s door, Finn’s not home and they haven't told anyone yet (except Han, who of course told Leia, who of course told Luke so Lukes bothering him now but it's fine, really, it's fine) and he knocks. Rey opens the door looking like an angel and a dream wrapped up in a stunning red dress and he just stares. With his mouth open. 

“If you don't close your mouth you're gonna catch flies Ben.”

After he gets his bearings he exhales a very embarrassingly breathless, “You could've told me my breath stinks Rey.” She snorts and her nose crinkles and her eyes, god, her eyes. “Sweetheart, you look absolutely beautiful.”

“Me? You! Look at you, Mr. Suit and Tie!” 

“Oooh, call me mister again, sugarplum.” He laughs out smirking. 

“Bite me, you casanova.”

“God, I love you.”

And Ben freezes because that's not how it was meant to come out but Rey, Rey looks positively thrilled because she would thinks it’s really funny that's how he tells her he loves her.

“Good, because I love you too and you're gonna cancel that reservation and then we’re going to go into my room.” 

“What about Finn?”

“With Rose.” They both waggle their eyebrows, laugh, Rey grabs his hand, pulls him in and they slam the door.


End file.
